10...9... main ignition start...6...5...4...3...2...1...0......lift off.....we have lift off, 32 minutes past the hour................launch tower cleared."I describe it as a nervous novice driving a wide car down a narrow alley, gotta make corrections and what it is , it's those big motors underneath gimbling underneath, you know swirling back and forth to keep you in balance. You feel by the seat of your pants, thinking gee that launch tower is just a few feet off the one side, I hope this sucker ain't gonna gimble in that direction too much and then when they tell ya launch tower cleared you kinda say oh wosh, we don't have to worry about hitting that moose, then off you go" Mike Collins Apollo 11.
Was watching In The Shadow of the Moon last night for like about the 20 gazillionth time and it really hit home how these astronauts who ventured to the Moon all had profound experiences, how all their lives had changed, so much so that what they once thought was important, now seemed trivial. Some even made major decisions about following God, it changed their lives, little things like not worrying about the price of gas any more, about crowded places like malls, Alan Bean is happy now there were people after visiting such a desolate place as the Moon.
After going through a life changing event myself I can relate to some of their thinking, let me make this perfectly clear, I don't pretend that what has happened to me is any worse then what has happened to a lot of other people, I know of people in far off worse places then I, serious illnesses and the such, but I know somewhat how they feel and what they are going through, but that's what it is all about , helping each other get through difficult times to the other side.
This blog post is something I have put off for a long time, I hope by reading it you will in some way benefit, maybe even help you get through your rough times. It's about how I handled an overwhelming situation by making what I feel to be the right lifelong decisions, and of course relating it back to the Apollo Missions, my most favorite thing ever, so here we go.
When it seemed no one was was there for me, God was. I said God look, just been told after 30 years of Marriage, the one I loved no longer wants to be with me, mostly my fault made some bad decisions, God said no problem, he is after all in the business of forgiveness, with Jesus, John 3:16 and all, He took me, put me in the command module, strapped me in, said hold on, and I was off.
Now the fun begins. Initially I was trying to make all kinds of course corrections early on with all the buttons at my disposal in my command module to try and get where I thought I had to get to, God of course was correcting my wrong corrections with the rocket's motors, pulling me away from the Launch Tower at just the right time, keeping me straight. It is reassuring that no matter how bad we continue to screw things up, God knows about it ahead of time, I mean it's not like he's up there saying "Wow...never saw that coming....any ideas, Peter...Jesus........anyone?" he is there to guide and correct you from as Mike Collins put it "hitting that moose" which is very comforting.
"Will metal stand this kind of vibration, have the engineers realized how this thing shakes? because it shakes so much more then I ever imagined." Alan Bean Apollo 12.
Since God is my engineer, he knew what I could stand, no matter what I was going through especially in the early stages of my adventure like getting off the launch pad and the forces at work against it, with God's help I got through it in one piece.
"Those engines, those 5 engines, when ignited shakes the whole body to reverberation from it, it's very emotional." Edgar Mitchell Apollo 14.
Actually very emotional, you know when God's guiding engines cut in, even though it shakes you to the core, you know you are going somewhere forward.
"You're not just riding along, a lot of people think you're just lying on your back waiting for it to happen, but not really, because every second is something of significance" Dave Scott Apollo15.
From the outside looking in it looks like the person who is working through a major upset is kinda just getting on when in reality, the person is changing their whole outlook on life, making decisions on the go, reflecting and growing, coming to grips with what has been dealt them and in my case couldn't have happened without God, Christ and the Holy Spirit to help me.
Once you get off the launch pad, into space and on to your new place, somewhere between where you were and where you're going, the blindfold comes completely off, you look behind to see where you came from getting smaller and smaller, but more important it's gravity or effect on you is less and less, your new destination on the other hand getting big and bigger and it's pull on you, it's gravity increases, the "why me".... "who's fault is it" questions start to fade away and the anticipation of a new start becomes more focused.
"I always thought of myself as one of the more fearful astronauts, really, and when I look out that window of the spacecraft I would think if that window blows out I'm going to die in about a second...there's death right out side there about an inch away." Alan Bean Apollo 12.
Sometimes, alone in your little command module, you do fret what God has in store for you, even though you are not alone, God is always there even though sometimes it feels like he's not. You vacillate between fear and exaltation.
"I didn't feel it as loneliness, I certainly didn't feel it as fear, I felt it as awareness almost a feeling of exaltation, I kind of liked it, good feeling, everything was going well in the command module, had my happy little home, had the bright lights on, everything was fine, I enjoyed that time."
Mike Collins Apollo 11.
This post was not about me insomuch as what God has done for me, given me a richer fuller life, a greater appreciation for his creations, whether it be people, or the cosmos, oh and eternal life, not afraid of dying anymore. Where this blog goes from here is still unknown to me, won't be quite the same as I'm not quite the same, I'll still post some of my images, some reviews, who knows. Through it all God has placed key people in my life and even though it's quiet most times in my brightly lit command module their voices come through loud and clear on my com channel giving me words of encouragement and guidance, a lot have been my readers and I thank you for that, special mention to Astro- Nuts and Fishhawk who have been on the com almost daily.
"I felt that I was standing on a plateau, a plateau somewhere out there in space. A plateau that science and technology allowed me to get to but now what I was seeing, even more important, what I was feeling at that moment in time, science and technology had no answers for, literally no answers. Because there I was and there you are...there you are Earth, dynamic, overwhelming, and I felt that the world just...just too much purpose, too much logic, was just to beautiful to have happened by accident. There has to be somebody bigger then you and bigger then me and I mean this in a spiritual sense not a religious sense, there has to be a creator of the universe who stands above the religions that we ourselves create to govern our lives."
Eugene Cernan, Apollo 10&17, Last Man on the Moon.
I'll leave you now with my first Moon video taken years ago, kind of crude, but it shows that even though something that looks like it isn't going anywhere.... when you look up at the Moon for example.......well when you look real close, when you look under a magnifying glass, aka telescope at it you see nothing is constant, you see movement.
